Fault-y Heart...
I don't have the heart to pain you. I don't have the heart to keep the pain in me. Just so you know... I'm in pain... But i promise no one in the world will know that. I promise that this pain will only be shared to you at the right time... I wanna make things right. but it seems that its hard. I don't wish to lose people from my life. I'm sorry if i'm hard to handle... I'm sorry if i'm one of a kind... I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused... This is just what I feel in me. I guess all of it you will disagree.. I'm sorry if I didn't put on my words right... I shouldn't have said that... I'm sorry..
I don't wanna shame you. I don't want people to know... Maybe my face was too obvious to be seen and for people to understand. Maybe i should hide from everyone. But not from you... Maybe I should put on a mask every day. Maybe at night I'll take them off. Maybe I should keep it all to myself. Not letting anyone know what is our problems or obstacles. Let us be in silence. I think if people were to ask me how is it going on between me and you, I should just keep it to myself. I will not give an answer anymore. I promise I won't say a word. I promise I won't. The only person that should know about it is you. But then again... I can only tell you on the right time and not any time I want. Its wrong...
Because if I were to spit it out however I like it, I might say it out wrong. I might upset you unknowingly. I might make things between us change... Which I don't want that to happen. I apologized to those who knew. I apologized for sharing. Please do not involve yourself in this matter of mine... I'm sorry if whatever I said hurts you. But that wasn't my intention... Don't drown yourself in the sea I created with my own hands. Don't be the one volunteering to swim and save me. I'm sorry. Let me drown on my own. Let me carry on my own. Let me swim my way out of it. It feels great to know that you lend me hand to help. But I'm sorry if I had to refused them and make you upset.
I have a faulty heart. I will go wrong if things are right. I will rust if things are too good. I will get out of hand when its too spoiled. I will be okay if I mend myself. I promise... I will be okay... Though the heart aches and pains me so much, its okay. I'm fine with that. Let it heal together along with the time. I'll follow. I'm sorry once again. Because one sorry is never enough to apologized the scar that I have been creating with my own bare actions. No mends can heal the heart besides the person who scarred them. I'll do it own my own. I never wanted to be a burden neither make this situation affecting every single thing.
Again, i'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. I'm just doing what's right for me when its wrong for you guys to see. I'm sorry for not being the best I can be. I'm sorry if I can't handle this alone. I'm sorry if I'm too weak... Let things be a secret just the way it should be. I won't open the covers of the book and reveal them again. I promise I won't... I'll have a lock to stay and keys be thrown away. So no one can find it, ever again....
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