To my dearest bestfriend,

 I hope you get to read this on your special day. I'm sorry if its gonna be long. But I hope this makes up everything. First of all, of course, Happy 17th Birthday Shahfizan :) I did NOT forget your birthday. I always remember and I couldn't wait to do this for you and to let you read the things I've written down here. O'Levels are coming up, I know you can always do your very best for everything. I have faith in you always. I know times are tough for you, I'm sure. And I completely understand that. Well, I do this blog post for one purpose and one reason only. Besides wishing you a Happy Birthday, I wanted to let you know that I''m sorry. For everything. Distance is getting in our way. We've became so busy with our own lives till we even forget 'US'.

I'm sorry for being so caught up with everything that I've done to make you mad, sad, or even sulk with me. Its my fault. I hope you are doing fine in school and with the subjects you're taking. I know it must be hard for you. I miss your lame jokes, your sarcasm, our conversations, that kind of shitty talks we've had. I miss that. And its my fault for being away from you and to not let us having that kinds of moment again. Even though I may be a pain in the ass for you, for you to be keeping up with my busy life till I ignored you, I admit my mistake for I've put u aside and to just stay focus in my ITE life. I didn't have that kind of balance of life in me. I didn't put in so much effort in the few last conversations we have had together. Till you had to write for me long message telling me of how you feel about us. About how much we have changed. And how much you wanted us to be closed like before back in those secondary school journey with you.

I'm sorry for leaving you alone, for not being there for you when you had no one. When you chose me to be your listening ear, but I didn't have that time. For you. It's my fault. For isolating you. Probably when you read this, I am never sure if you are gonna accept my apology or feel touched by this message or even feel anything about it. I'm afraid it'll be nothing to you. Well, if that really happens, I accept it. Because I've cause the trouble and I've caused the pain. Maybe right now, you are happy, maybe right now you have someone new. Maybe right now, you have someone to lend a shoulder for you, to be your listening ear. I might never know but only you do. I might not know that the things we've had before are no longer happening again.

But I just want you to know that I will always be here, a phone call away, a text away. when you need me. I know its gonna be useless or pointless to say that if I didn't mean what I say. True enough. But I'm here to make things up to you. I do not wish to talk about my life right now simply because now I focus on you more than myself. For what I care and how much you mean to me. As my BestFriend. Honestly, I find that we both are not bestfriends but more like a brother and sister that we took care of each other's back. Trolling each other, protect each other, fight even about the smallest of things, share secrets with each other. So many more. I mean look at us. Look at these pictures we have. Eversince sec 2 till now? Characters of us change but the friendship never ends

 

Sigh.... I just want you to know that I'm deeply sorry for everything. When the moment you texted me regarding about me didn't say a thing about me flying off to Hanoi, I just felt useless. I know I'm a douchebag for that. I just didn't know what I can do to make it up to you from there on. Eversince then, we became so distant and we've stopped talking to each other. I saw the changes. I saw the silence between us. And I sense something's wrong. Which is why I've decided to write for you this. Knowing that I couldn't meet you for the next few weeks due to having heavy projects, frequent rehearsals for my upcoming show. But hey, during your school holidays, I promise I'll meet you up to catch up a lot of things between us. And of course, I'll be passing to you your belated birthday present that I've made promise to you already :)

 

Shah, from the bottom of my heart, I hope, you would forgive me for the distance and pain I've given to you. I hope this post would make your day a better one or at least made u smile? We may be far (well technically not far cause we're staying somewhere near) but always remember, I'm gonna be here for you no matter what. Even if my days are busy, I promise I will reply you as soon as possible. Please always remember, I am truly blessed to have you even as my bestfriend or as my brother. Even if things don't go right between us, I will always try my best to find a way for us to be back like we've been before.

 

 You used to say this to me "....and don't forget about me cause I will always remember you :*..."

 

I always pray for the best in you and your studies. And like I always say, make me proud with your results. May our friendship be back to normal again and yeah like we always do; hope our friendship will last till forever.. thru ups and downs... Once again, Happy 17th Birthday Shahfizan a.k.a Shah Baby Ke'Ai :")

 

Love, Syafiqah