Cold-confused soul

Hey guys! I'm back again as usual. Lets get started

Anyways, don't hate people who have turned into someone who's heartless, mean, emotionless. I mean come on, do you even know what made them like this? Do you even know the true story behind of oneself? Truth is, you don't. You just go around and start judging them. Admit it. Well its kinda sad for you people to never even bother and care about these kind of people. I mean, wait, in the first place do you guys even care about how they feel? Haha no.

I don't know, I feel angry at the people who just never think or feel about the other person. Like seriously, no fucks given?? How could you? I mean its the same concept like when someone is sad, you just go up to them and say "move on and forget about it" I understand some people cant really understand other people's feeling. Some of you are not even good at cheering people up. But at least say something that is somehow worth to be felt good at in the end??? I don't know, maybe like; "I may not understand what you're going through but at least stay strong about it and do something that makes you happy" 

You know words like these isn't so hard to say it. Its simple and okay maybe if some of you don't know how to cheer people up, at least im giving you tips here. Haha thank me now ?! ( JUST KIDDING )

These kind of people don't even choose to be this way. They don't even wanna be heartless, mean. They don't like seeing themselves being that way either. Do you like yourself crushing other people's heart and emotions??? Do you like being in a state where you don't wanna care at all about people? Do you like it when others keep on blaming you just because you're mean and egoistic? I bet not right?

So do they. But because they've always getting the blame and all, they just have no other choice but to just be in that state. And I mean by "final" choice. Because if they were to care more, they would end up getting hurt. If they were to be more heartless, they would end up getting called "ego" or worse case scenario; get hates. For nothing...

You see, some people have a hard times in being themselves because you people are being so judgemental fucks and don't even know nothing at all. But you're doing you're jobs to be labeling people this and that. No one is good at making their decisions and no one is good in correcting themselves; be it for the better or worse. No one. I made bad choices. Most of the things I regret because I only end up getting myself hurt for the most unnecessary things.

People just had to be harsh on themselves because they don't want to end up hurt. They don't want to keep on crying and wasting their goddamn tears for the unnecessary people in their lives. They don't wanna feel pain. They don't like being in the state where people keep on blaming them; even when they are not in the wrong. They don't wanna get stepped on and let others take advantage of them. Tell you what; 

From my experience, I used to think that its okay for people to come and go. Just make it simple and easy, like don't even have to care and make new friends. You know, the term called ''friends come and go'' Ya that. Its like a no big deal. During this "times" I still don't know how much of an importance to be treasuring people. I still don't know what is self-worth. I still don't know what is fragile/broken-heart was. I'm still like a kid. Who knows nothing at all. Literally nothing. Until I've gone through it so many times and as times passed, I've learned it along the way. From then, that was the only point I realized what all these "words" meant. I finally know the true meaning of it and I see it in people's eyes too.

Its not easy to know everything behind every people's smiles. Because a smile can hide so much of a story. A smile can hide so much misery and the pain oneself has gone through. Yet they can still pull it off very well and let none of the people know or suspect anything from it. Its no coincidence that I myself can read people well with just their words. But because when I can sense it, means I can feel. Of course at times I can be a little stupid with things but hey, i'm still learning. Yolo

No one wants to get stepped on. No one wants to be used. No one wants unhappiness. No one wants misery. But sometimes in life we have to go through that. "Expect the unexpected" lol. Everyone wants to be back on themselves. Seeing themselves happy and to be the person they want to be again. They want to be normal. They just want simple happiness. They don't ask for more. Yet it looks so hard for others to see. Why is that? These people are just stuck in the middle and are lost for the decisions they are gonna make in life. be it in love, expectations on reality, families etc? They are just confused.

More like; don't want get hurt on one side. And the other side; begging for happiness and to just have a complete life. But its hard for that to happen. Some can't give themselves a chance no more because they're afraid. What if happens again. What if history repeats itself? What if the chances that they are giving to themselves are just another wasted one? What if all the shits they've gone thru was just for nothing?? So many "what ifs"

But on the outside, people see that as desperate. Lonely as fuck. What else? Umm.. Attention seeking, use friends and then throw them away and so many more... For nothing these people get all this names. So why be so judgemental? I don't think in the first place you know how much these people have hidden themselves from within. From all of you fuckers who never even bother to give a fuck in the first place?

you'll find people who actually shows both personality. The caring side and the "no fucks given" side. I know these people are..... complicated. Sometimes they don't need anyone to be there for them. And sometimes they need a listening ear. And why? Like I said, they're just confused. Stuck at the junction. These people themselves are not even sure of what they're doing. Because they're not ready. To face harsh reality again. times when they feel like they needed someone is the only time they will show their true self. Well, maybe. Depends on the situation also. and also depends on who the person they're with. These type of people are also the kind who think they can handle most of the things but when they realized it, they can't do all of it alone. They also need support. From that special someone. Who can understand them deeply. Who knows what they mean behind their words and why they're being like that. It'll take time for them to know. You just have to be patient with them. They are not easy to handle but trust me, they are the people who are worth keeping in the end. No doubt.

 Surprised yet? I mean, now you know how these people feel? If you still don't get it, I suggest you can play with a bunch of assholes and let your friends use you or some shit;have them to give no botheration to you at all and let you suffer alone. Maybe that will wake u up and feel it.

Me? I've felt that way alot of fucking time and right now I just really don't care but to just watch whatever gonna happen next. Tell me if I've made this stand very clear for the people who's going through this right now. I may not get all the feelings right but I'm sure some of it has affected you. Before I end this off, I'm very sorry if this blog post is SUPER FREAKIN LONG. But its for the sake of my readers that i'm willing to write this much. I love each and everyone of you who has supported me and encourage me with their lovely words to get me going with life and to actually made me continue to write more.

I'm really glad to hear that I've gave you hopes, and that my blogs are the ones that made your day. Thank you. I may not be as popular and fucking well-known to the public but I'm blessed to be having you readers to support me throughout. Will do more updates soon. Love you all so fucking much xoxo

Love,

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